In the Time of COVID (as we may be referring to it years from now), things got pretty rough for most of us. And if you were already struggling with your mental health or a child’s mental health, you know it was like a double whammy. We were stretched to our limit on all fronts–keeping our kids and ourselves safe, engaged, and sane were like three full-time jobs rolled into one! So here are some things I did (and didn’t do) to help me get through– tips that are good for any time of crisis. 

Here’s what I did...

1. Create a Support System Call List (and use it!).

A. Make a list of all your most non-judgmental, safe-feeling sources of support–whether family, friends, professionals, support groups, Facebook groups, or hotlines. This won’t be everyone in your life; most of us have at least some well-meaning people in our lives that just won’t get it, or who, for whatever reason, we’re not comfortable sharing highly sensitive information with. And of course, there are times we are just too emotionally exhausted to explain the situation while worrying about potentially negative reaction. Know that even if your list is short now, it will grow. I began this journey feeling certain that no one could understand my particular struggle, but along the way discovered so many unexpected allies.

B. Consider the types of support you need. I know for myself, there were days I just need a lighthearted conversation; other days I was looking to commiserate with someone who was equally invested in mine and my son’s well-being; and others, I needed specific recommendations from someone who’d faced similar challenges. With this in mind, write down next to each name, what that person/group offers you.

For instance:           

Having this list did three things for me: first, it was a comforting reminder that I was not alone; second, it helped me identify the kind of support I needed in a given moment; and finally–and most importantly–it encouraged me to reach out when I needed that support.

C. Get comfortable reaching out. This can be tough for a lot of us; we may be embarrassed, afraid of appearing weak, worried about judgment, or just simply tired of talking about our problems. One thing is certain though, trying to manage things alone is hard as hell, and not nearly as effective. Support is available, you just need to practice asking for it!

2. Create a map of hope

When things look bleak, we need hope. Not fantasy-style hope, but hope based on real possibility. This may take some creative imagining, but you will never regret the time you spent thinking up all these good things!

A. You can use a sheet of paper or posterboard, depending upon how big you want your ‘hope map’ to be, and where it will end up (I like mine big and visible ). Then choose three colored markers and write the words Immediate, Near Future, and Long Term in different colors, wherever you like on the page, leaving room beneath each heading.

B. Now, ask yourself this question: What do I have in my life right now that feels good? This can be anything you enjoy doing, person you enjoy being with, or place you like spending time. Beneath the heading Immediate, write out as many of these things as you can without editing.

C. Next, write your response to this question under the heading Near Future: What positive things can I foresee happening in the near future (ie. taking a trip to visit our cousins, resuming our weekly family walks)? Try to visualize these experiences until you have a felt-sense of their comforting realness.

D. Finally, under the heading Long Term, finish this sentence: I am so looking forward to the time when… Allow yourself to imagine the very best of what’s possible for you and/or your child. It’s okay if your list is ambitious, in fact, it should be! You want this to be an exercise in hopefulness.

I feel bolstered whenever I read my hope map. Every one of these existing and potential positives is like an emotional nutrient. And as long as I have enough of this nutrition, I can get myself from point a to point b, however rocky the terrain in between. This is also a great exercise to do with your child!

3. Two highly-targeted meditations every day: The Regulater & The Elevater.

These meditations are based on a method I developed called CACAO, which combines the tools of conscious breathing, awareness, compassion, appreciation, and optimism, to regulate your nervous system and boost your mood. I recommend doing The Elevater (intentional spelling :) first thing in the morning, and before you go to sleep at night; and using The Regulater whenever you’re feeling anxious or just out of sorts. You can listen to them both here and download the ‘cheat sheet’ versions here.

And here’s what I didn't do

1. Guilt Myself

It’s hard not to wonder how much of our own, or our child’s suffering is due to something we’ve done wrong. And the reality is, sometimes it is! For instance, as loving and devoted a parent as I am, that first year of COVID did not bring out the best in me. I lost my cool far more than I consider acceptable, spent far too much time glued to my newsfeed, probably went overboard on safety measures (I know there are many who would insist I did!), shared too much about COVID in an attempt to scare B into being more careful. And these days, I wonder if I’m not being safe enough.

It’s equally hard not to question yourself when things go awry. Amongst my top 10 greatest self-questioning hits: “Did I miss critical cues?” “Was I not sensitive enough to his emotional needs?” “Was I too strict?”, “Did I not show enough compassion when he had meltdowns?”, “Should I have been more patient when he was bouncing off the walls?”…

Now, I think these are all reasonable questions, and worth asking. But only if done in a constructive way. So, I recommend, with whatever questions you’re asking yourself: ask the question simply, answer thoughtfully, then make any necessary adjustments and amends. That’s it. Because here’s the thing: guilt is not a motivator. It saps us of the energy we need to make positive changes, and causes us to question our very ability to make said changes. We can take responsibility for our mistakes without heading down the rabbit hole of self-recrimination!

2. Curb my bad habits

Like nightly Netflix binging, FB scrolling, over-caffeinating, overeating. Of course, I tried to keep my indulgences this side of destructive, but with everything going on, I knew it was not the time to amp up the self-discipline.

3. Worry about the future

We can inform ourselves, hold onto hope, and stay proactive. And that’s all we can do. As I consistently told myself: Plan wisely for the future then forget it.

The MAYFLOWER INN & SPA

The New England Good Life

Located in the idyllic town of Washington in Connecticut, Mayflower Inn & Spa is an exquisite country retreat, nestled in 58 acres of beautifully landscaped gardens and woodland. Just two hours’ drive from New York City, it is renowned as one of northeast America’s most distinguished luxury hideaways. Memories are made easily when you stay at our boutique hotel in Litchfield County, a portal to a simpler time, where the definitive measure of the good life is in soul-stirring moments rooted in the idyllic countryside.

Mohonk Mountain House

Founded by the Smiley Family in 1869, our Victorian castle resort is nestled in the Hudson Valley, only 90 miles north of New York City. Surrounded by 40,000 acres of pristine forest, our National Historic Landmark resort offers farm-to-table cuisine and an award-winning spa.

Grace Farms

Sharon Prince, CEO and Founder, envisioned that intentionally-designed space could communicate a set of values and advance good in the world for years to come. Pritzker Prize-winning architects Kazuyo Sejima and Ryue Nishizawa, of the Japanese firm SANAA, embodied this vision into the River building’s design. The result is a hopeful environment that has become a three-dimensional expression of Grace Farms Foundation’s mission to create grace and peace in our local and global communities.

Grace Farms’ open architecture is designed to break down barriers between people and nature. The extensive use of wood and spectacular 360-degree views of the landscape creates a warm invitation to pause and reflect, while encouraging engagement with each other.

The land on which Grace Farms sits – almost 80 acres of natural landscape with 10 diverse habitats – creates an environment to bring together diverse communities around common pursuits. By preserving our wetlands and forests as well as planting more than 500 trees and 1,000 native perennials, Grace Farms has enhanced biodiversity and contributed to the fresh air and clean water that are necessary for healthy ecosystems and human flourishing.

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Stone Barns

Stone Barns Center for Food and Agriculture is the product of a collaborative agricultural and gastronomic experiment. Its seeds were planted in the 1990s by the Rockefeller family, together with conservation planners, organic farmers, chefs and many others who came together to set a common vision and purpose for the land.

Their goal was to make the beauty and agricultural heritage of the property accessible to the public in hopes of establishing a dynamic campus of farmers, chefs and educators working together to inspire and reconnect the local community to food and farming. They envisioned a place where people could experience the land, farming and an ecological food culture; a place that would bring inspiration and innovation to our regional food system, informed by creativity and experimentation.

Oh, and their café has the best food! Hopefully will reopen soon :)

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John Jay Homestead

John Jay Homestead offers countless immersive and hands-on educational, recreational, and inspirational experiences for visitors of all ages. Come explore today!

John Jay's Bedford House

During twenty-seven years of service to his state and nation, John Jay looked forward to the day when he would retire with his wife and family to “the house on my farm in Westchester County…” During his second term as governor of New York, Jay had renovations made to his 1787 farmhouse in preparation for his retirement from public life. He was finally able to move to the house in 1801. Visitors to John Jay Homestead State Historic Site are invited to take a docent-led tour of John Jay’s Bedford House. The historic house’s interior has been restored to reflect its appearance during John Jay’s lifetime. Well over 50% of the furnishings are original to John Jay and his family.

Carriage Barn Education & Visitor Center

More than 200 years after it was built, John Jay’s original Carriage Barn has been given new life as the Homestead’s Education & Visitor Center. Open daily May through October, the Carriage Barn hosts interactive, educational exhibits; a 12-minute biographical video about John Jay and his accomplishments; our premier hands-on Discovery Center; a gift shop; and a reading room.

Discovery Centers

Six historic buildings at John Jay Homestead feature hands-on, immersive Discovery Centers, each focused on a different theme. Designed as interactive exhibits and exploration areas, the

Discovery Centers help young visitors and their families learn about life on the Jay Farm during the 19th and 20th centuries in a fun and engaging way.

Special Exhibition – Moments in Time: Photographs from the Jay Family Collection

Photographs have a capacity to connect us with people and places long gone, perhaps better than any other pictorial medium except film. Life is captured in an instant: a moment of joy, or wonder, or wistful reflection. The Jay-Iselin family, who lived at John Jay Homestead, compiled an extensive collection of family photographs over many decades, from early daguerreotypes to modern snapshots. Moments in Time will include photographs stretching from the 1850s to the 1950s, depicting the family’s growth, its travels, and its participation in daily life and special occasions.

Gardens

John Jay Homestead has many beautiful gardens, lovingly tended to by dedicated organizations. The formal Sundial Garden, originally installed in the mid-19th century is cared for by Bedford Garden Club. The Herb Garden, created in 1991 is cultivated by members of the New York Unit of the Herb Society of America. Rusticus Garden Club restored the 1924 Terrace Garden and continues to maintain it today. The North Courtyard Garden was created in the 1990s by Hopp Ground Garden Club. They oversee this garden and a restored Children’s Garden adjacent to the Schoolhouse. InterGenerate oversees the vegetable garden.

Explorer Backpacks

We have three backpacks you can take with you while you explore the Homestead’s natural environment. Junior Explorers can use magnifying glasses and binoculars to study birds and animal tracks. Handy guidebooks are included as well to help explorers identify birds, mammals and plants. Findings can be recorded in the journal and the sketch pad and colored pencils can be used to draw a picture of the experience. We also have backpacks for Bird Watching and Landscape Art.

Geocaching

Geocaching is a real-world, outdoor treasure hunting game using GPS-enabled devices. Participants navigate to a specific set of GPS coordinates and then attempt to find the geocache (container) hidden at that location. If you’d like to place a geocache at John Jay Homestead, please see a staff member for permit information.

Perimeter Trail

John Jay Homestead is a beautiful place for a hike. Our perimeter trail offers scenic views and a moderate terrain.

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Ward Pound Ridge Reservation

The 4,315-acre park makes Ward Pound Ridge Reservation the county’s largest park. With its varied terrain, landscapes, and miles of wooded trails, the park provides a variety of activities in all seasons. There are areas for picnicking, lean-to camping, fishing and cross-country skiing. Originally part of Cortlandt Manor, the reservation was settled by farmers from Connecticut.

The name Pound Ridge is credited to the Indians who originally lived in the area. They had a local pound in which they kept game on the hoof until they needed it for food. The Indians built an enclosure of saplings driven into the ground and drove their game into the pound.
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 The Hammond Museum and Japanese Stroll Garden

The Hammond Museums mission is to stimulate interest in appreciating the artistic traditions of the East in the West through exhibitions from the museum's collections, music, dance and theatre; to preserve and develop the Japanese Stroll Garden which serves as a model for teaching people about the value of the environment, horticultural design and Eastern traditions through lectures, walking tours, classes and workshops. And finally, to promote the transformation of Eastern Culture in the West through the efforts of artists and performers in the Greater New York Metropolitan Region, involving them in the presentation of work, performances and teaching opportunities, especially for school groups.

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CARAMOOR

Caramoor Center for Music and the Arts is a destination for exceptional music, captivating programs, spectacular gardens and grounds, and wonderful moments with friends and family. It enriches the lives of its audiences through innovative and diverse musical performances of the highest quality. Its mission also includes mentoring young professional musicians and providing educational programs for young children centered around music.

Audiences are invited to explore the lush grounds, tour the historic Rosen House, enjoy a pre-concert picnic, and discover beautiful music in the relaxed settings of the Venetian Theater, Spanish Courtyard, Music Room of the Rosen House, and the magnificent gardens.

Our grounds are open to the public Friday – Sunday, 10:00am – 4:00pm, through September 26.  Caramoor’s hours will be adjusted for private events on the following dates: 9/25 – Grounds close at 3:00pm

John Jay Farmer’s Market

The John Jay Homestead Farm Market is a weekly outdoor, certified market which provides the finest New York-grown, fresh and seasonal fruits and vegetables, seafood, breads, specialty items and more on a historic farm setting. Every Saturday, customers can expect to find certified organic and biodynamic produce, ethically-raised, organic meat and eggs, as well as a wide variety of artisan food items with dozens of weekly vendors.

While at John Jay Homestead, patrons can also enjoy a walk, sight see, and explore flower, herb, and vegetable gardens or picnic on the historic grounds of John Jay Homestead.

Market Hours 9:00am to 2:00pm

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Fable Farm

Located on Route 134 right off the Taconic State Parkway, The Market at Fable opened in 2015 to act as a Food Hub for local farms and small businesses. Come say hello to our farmers, grab some delicious produce, and meet our beautiful free-range chickens.

Our produce is the freshest you can get. Each herb, leafy green, and vegetable is grown locally, sustainably, and with our commitment to quality and taste. Our chickens are pasture-raised which not only creates happy hens, but delicious and nutritious eggs as well. We make sure our plants and chickens receive the nutrition they need so that you do too.

To order Contactless Barnside Pickup or Delivery visit our online store here. Please note the store is updated every Tuesday at 10am and orders must be made by midnight on Thursday. Orders are then prepared for contactless delivery or pickup.

Fable’s selection includes Heirloom Tomatoes, Mesclun Mixes, Squash, Radishes, Garlic, Free-Range Eggs, Microgreens, and more. The Market features these farm fresh crops as well as other produce grown by local farms in the area. If you are a chef please contact us three months in advance if you would like a consistent weekly supply of a certain ingredient.

The Market is open Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays from 10:30am to 4pm. During the COVID-19 pandemic masks and social distancing required. To stay updated with our farm and market availability you can subscribe to our marketplace mailer.

Given the economic impact on farms and small businesses, we appreciate your support. Your purchases in our Market not only help us, but the small business owners who provide bread, muffins, soaps, salsa, and other items as well.

Fable: From Farm to Table
1311 Kitchawan Road (Route 134)
Ossining, NY 10562

Rochimbeau Farm

• All of the veggies we sell come directly from our garden.
• All of our veggies are organic, although we are not "Certified Organic"
• We also a carry a great variety of specialty items, unique to our stand.
• Come say hello to our goats, sheep, pigs and ponies!

Hours of Operation

Wednesday - Saturday: 9:00am - 5:00pm
Sunday: 10:00am - 4:00pm

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 Farmer and the Fish

Welcome back to our farm shop with the freshest selection of vegetables, seafood and meats. Offering a daily collection of fresh baked goods and a variety of carefully selected food items, as well as delicious prepared foods for your convenience, there is something for everyone.  For your ease, Shop Online and your items will be ready for pick up. Of course we welcome your call and are happy to assist with delivery, if required.  Happy Shopping!

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SNOW HILL FARM

Local  |  Organic  |  Sustainable

Snow Hill is a 140 acre organic farm located one hour north of New York City, in the Town of North Salem, New York. Our purpose is to provide the highest quality farm products to local restaurants, markets and the community.

We are Certified Organic by NOFA New York and Connecticut.

Pound Ridge Organics

Welcome to Pound Ridge Organics

We are an organic farm market, c.s.a. teaching kitchen & outdoor classroom located in bucolic pound ridge, n.y. (just one hour north of n.y.c.)

Our mission is to bring local affordable wholesome food & groceries to our extended community year 'round, while supporting local farms & small businesses that share our high standards and passion for ethically are sustainably produced:

• meats • poultry • fish • dairy • cheeses • veggies • fruit • bread • desserts • beverages • coffee • snacks • spices • honey • maple products • zero-waste gift items & so much more...